Winter Safety Tips

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It’s been a few days of snow and ice here in Memphis, Tennessee. I’d like to offer some Winter Safety Tips that I’ve found helpful as I’ve negotiated our recent winter wonderland.

The Prime Directive: Exhibit patience towards yourself, your schedule, and your fellow humans. (This is good even when there is no winter wonderland.)

When walking on snowy, icy walkways:

  • No Airpods. Yes, the walk will be unbearably quiet and you’ll start making a mental list of Winter Safety Tips. Here’s the deal: Your momma told you to wear a hat when it’s cold outside, and your hat will mess with your Airpods. If one falls out, you will never find it because they are tiny and white. 1
  • Step down, not out.
  • Don’t lift Foot #1 until Foot #2 is solid. Think about your foot placement like astronauts think about their tether.
  • Put your 15 year old formerly hip messenger bag across your shoulder, and make sure it’s directly in the small of your back. Improved center of gravity, less swing to make you imbalanced, and if you fall, all the unnecessary crap you carry in there might save you a broken hip.
  • Emulate my superior balance and jungle cat reflexes and you’ll be fine. Years of marching band would have helped here.

Bonus tip for driving:

  • Your absurdly large SUV and/or truck can unquestionably start moving on icy roads. Your absurdly large SUV and/or truck has questionable ability to stop moving on icy roads, especially when you are behind me or in the lane next to me. Slow down. (See “The Prime Directive.”)

This is Relaxing?

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If you had told half-my-age-ago me that I would:

  1. Voluntarily sit down at a keyboard
  2. Turn on a metronome
  3. Play fingering exercises up and down an octave
  4. Progressing chromatically
  5. With both hands
  6. BECAUSE IT IS RELAXING

That guy would have had a hard time believing it.

Yet, it happens and it is awesome.

Simon Fresh

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Simon and I have a lot of fun with GarageBand, because music should be fun and not a lot of fussy work.

Here’s a track we made last month. Simon’s freestyle is liquid fire. So proud.

Production note: I apologize for my clipped hollering at the beginning, which both sounds bad and is absurd. This was a failed level test, but The Talent thinks it’s funny and wants it to stay in the mix.

Shady

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This is going to be sad.

In July, our beautiful Shady passed away at home. It’s very difficult to think about, and I try not to.

Shady Closeup

The story of Shady joining our family is a big part of what defines our family. I wrote about it before. This, I think about all the time.

Shady Asleep on a Blanket

She always kept her skepticism of the world that she rightfully earned before us, but she also knew how to be silly, to run and play and jump on someone’s head, then run away. If dogs giggled, she would have had the best giggle of them all.

She also had the most amazing big eyes that could see right into you. When people wonder if dogs have a soul, those people have never met a dog like Shady.

But then, I have met a lot of dogs, and I’ve never met a dog just like Shady either. She was special in a way that is hard to describe. It’s more about the way she was than things she did, but she did sweet Permanent Puppy things all the time.

When Shady went for a walk, she would sniff and snort with an intensity that made her sound a bit like a pig, and we would call her Truffle.  She had a beagle’s nose and curiosity. She also had a beagle’s love for eating more than she should, and wandering, and chasing small things, and laying in the sun.

If you’re twenty pounds and a little scared of the world, you use what you have. She had a bark that could be heard for a mile, and she used it. No tolerance for funny business in our front yard. If you came in the house for a visit, she would bark, even if she knew you, but once you gave her a treat, suddenly you were Just Fine.

Shady Closeup

Shady the speed beagle! When she was younger, she would run around the backyard at top speed, darting left and right, but generally in a big circle. Then she would dive into the forest of ferns near the patio. The last thing you could see were her back feet, stretched way out as she disappeared. The tops of the ferns would shake violently, then stop for a moment. Then they’d start up again, but six feet away from the last place. After a while, a magnificent blur of brown and white would eject from the ferns, three feet in the air, with huge googly eyes. She would seem to hang in the air for a few seconds, but as soon as her feet hit the ground, she would take off in a random direction, running even faster than before.

Shady Snuggle

As she got older, she still did this from time to time, but she really came to appreciate just laying on someone. Usually Tess, the basenji mix whom Shady loved more than anything.

Shady and Tess

I have hundreds of photos over the years of the two of them just laying around on a couch, almost always touching. And often in these photos, Shady’s eyes are closed, asleep and at peace with a world that is still scary sometimes, but not so bad as long as we love each other and have each other’s back.

Here’s one of my last photos of Shady.

Shady and Tess Booty Up

I love this photo, and I love everything this dog brought to my life.

 

Snake Options

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Simon and I got out the “buggy” this morning and went for a run along the Wolf River. If you must run (and that is a question worth some serious thought), I can suggest this as a good place to do it. I also recommend doing it for a good cause like St. Jude, like I am later this month. Donations still being accepted!

He wanted to stay in his pajamas, and had bare feet because that’s something you can do when you’re in a running stroller. Lucky him; I had on running shoes because I was running, pushing a running stroller.

So we’re going around a bend, and lo, a snake on the path. What kind of snake? I’d say it was the long skinny kind where one end is sharp and sometimes mean. Based on my faulty memory, it was unlikely to have been a copperhead or water moccasin, but look man, a snake is a snake, and there are bare feet in this story. Time to show some respect.

I stop and wait for the snake to make its way off the path, which it certainly seems interested in doing. I also start letting passersby know that there is a snake. This includes a few bike riders and then suddenly, something like 20 junior high kids. Of course.

Now, when a guy tells me “hey watch out, there’s a snake” and points at a place on the ground, I am always going to:

  1. Stop.
  2. Freeze until I either see the snake or maybe get additional information about the snake.

What I will not do is:

  1. Say “where” and walk towards where the guy is pointing.

Remember: saying “where” means you don’t yet know where the snake is, or what it’s like, or if the sharp end is getting mean. I think selecting that option is ill-advised.

Eventually the snake takes off into the woods, and people start to disperse, and life moves on. Simon thought it was pretty fun, I think. The worst part was that I had to start running again after stopping. Of all the running things I’m not very good at doing, this is towards the top of the list.