I went to Walgreens last night, and as I walked past a row of shelves, I heard evil cackling. I was ready to bust out my Kung Fu, but as I turned to face my foe, my instinctive thoughts of self-preservation turned to instinctive disgust.

There was a cheap plastic witch on the end cap with a sensor, ready to detect innocent passers-by and trigger the cackle. The Halloween junk is already out.

September 2, and they are already stocking Halloween items.

I must be a grumpy old man, but I can't imagine why the American consumer needs two months to buy this stuff. More broadly, I can't imagine why the American consumer needs this stuff in the first place. Do people really throw away their plastic jack-o'-lantern treat buckets every year?

"You know what would make this Halloween really special? A string of paper black cats hanging over the door! I'll just run down to Walgreens..."

Sure, I load up the neighborhood kids (and quite a few non-neighborhood kids) with sugar every year like anyone else, but I certainly don't start planning it this far in advance.